okay pat passed out under dana's car
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
