I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
