I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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