I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
