I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
