He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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