at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
