I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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