Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
