would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
