Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
