I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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