party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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