ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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