i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
