PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
