we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
