Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
