dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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