Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
