Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
