but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
