I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
