I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
