I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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