why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
