Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Someone signed my nipple.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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