So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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