Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
