my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
