She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
