We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
