Non-Jews are for practice
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
