yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
