this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
