U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
