i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
