I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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