4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
