And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
