How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
