Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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