You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
