I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
