Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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