Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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