My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
