Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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