well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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