Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
