If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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